I know this has nothing to do with children’s games but I have this joke article about a “not so user friendly toilet” The person that wrote about her favorite verse in the childrens song, “Miss Lucy had a steamboat” being; Hello operator, give me number 9, and if you disconnect me, I will chop off your behind” reminded me of this article.

New “NOT SO USER FRIENDLY” Toilet

There’s something new on the market for people who are fussy about who uses their toilet. It is called “The Butt Chopper” and it will really get unwanted toilet users in the end! It is definitely the toilet of the future as it adds electronics and mechanics to the original household unit.

All wanted toilet users will be able to do whatever they want while seated on “The Butt Chopper”. They may pee, poop, stink up the bathroom, or stay seated as long as they like. The unwanted toilet user may not be able to do some or any of these things. In fact the unwanted user may see “The Butt Chopper” in action! “The Butt Chopper” has been designed with the capability to chop off the rear-ends of unwanted toilet users.

The way it works is very simple. All people who are welcome to use this specialized toilet would be given a password. Before taking a seat they would say the password into the microphone located on “The Butt Chopper”. They would then be able to sit down and do what they had to do with no problems at all. They would leave with their butts in tact. The person who sits down without saying the password or who says the wrong password would be at risk. The result would depend on what setting “The Butt Chopper” was on.

“The Butt Chopper” has four settings. Each one treats the unwanted user a little differently. The first setting is called “Go Quickly”, the second is called “No Stink”, the third is called “No Poop”, and the fourth setting is called “Not Doing Anything”!

While on the “Go Quickly” setting the user may pee, poop, or stink up the bathroom, but they must do it quickly. “The Butt Chopper” times the user. If the user is seated for more than thirty seconds, “The Butt Chopper” chops off their butt.

While on the “No Stink” setting the user is allowed to pee and poop. They may take as long as they need but they must not stink up the bathroom. “The Butt Chopper” uses a sensor that detects odors. If the odor from the user exceeds the limits, their butt will immediately be chopped off by “The Butt Chopper”!

While on the “No Poop” setting the user is allowed only to pee. “The Butt Chopper” uses a camera device that focuses in on the user’s butt. As soon as it detects poop starting to come out, it activates before they can finish what they started.

The fourth setting, the “Not Doing Anything” setting, doesn’t give the user a chance to do anything. As soon as the unwanted user sits down on “The Butt Chopper”, their butt is chopped off immediately! This setting of course really isn’t that fair because women have to sit down to pee. Men won’t have a problem unless they have to poop. So what are you waiting for! Rid your bathroom of unwanted toilet users. They won’t be back to use your toilet again! They won’t be pooping in anyone’s toilet again!