You wanna talk “naive”? Here’s a humdinger of a story for you.

When I was about 16, my 20-year-old boyfriend decided to dump me one night because I was “too young” (which of course meant I wasn’t ready to sleep with him so what was the point, right?) He lived on one side of a VERY busy street near where we were standing, I lived on the other. When I say busy, I mean Houston Street right off of FDR Drive; six lanes of traffic, three going onto the highway, three going off, and moving at a pretty good clip. Well, I did NOT take this breakup lightly and figured I’d teach HIM a lesson. I didn’t look for traffic going onto the highway as I began crossing the street to go home. I didn’t look for traffic coming off of the highway when I stepped off the median. My plan was, of course, to have him see me get struck by a car and feel so badly about it that he would take me back (please remember I was a very young 16 — NOT “16” like the kids are now, and no, it never occurred to me that it would hurt or that I might die). Well — I got to the other side safely (obviously God really DOES take care of FOOLS and babies, like they say) and turned to see if he was watching. He was long gone. He’d apparently turned to go the minute I walked away from him, so he’d have missed the whole thing — the crash…the pain…the drama of it all! The nerve of that guy! Geez, I wouldn’t be sixteen again if you paid me — I was SO melodramatic!

– webdiva